Bernie's 10 Commandments for a Meaningful Marriage

1. Thou shalt prioritize thy life. (Think of yourselves as the "royal three." God first, spouse second, next comes children, then career.
2. Thou shalt remember all birthdays and anniversaries. (Thoughtfulness is next to Godliness)
3. Thou shalt never say "this is my money." (A spin off to that is make no major purchases or contributions without consulting the other.)
4. Thou shalt not trash your in-laws in public. (When you marry accept his/her family, warts and all - remember some of your relatives aren't so hot either.)
5. Thou shalt be the first to say "I'm sorry." (The old line from a 70's movie "Love is never having to say I'm sorry" is a big lie.)
6. Thou shalt keep a sense of humor. (Remember, if you can't laugh at yourself, others will.)
7. Thou shalt not make plans without consulting the other. (See commandment 2 concerning thoughtfulness.)
8. Thou shalt pray together every day. (This is the great equalizer.)
9. Thou shalt present a united front. (This is especially important when disciplining children.)
10. Thou shalt create a home that everyone want to return to.

a plug for my husband

If you were at Otter yesterday morning you heard my husband, Jeff, and Kyle Rigsby get up and introduce the newest ministry for men...The Brotherhood is going to be an incredible thing for those that seek it out. I would encourage you to encourage your husbands to give it a chance. They don't want to fill up a calender...they want to fill up lives. Men need other men just like we need other women.

One thing that has already been in place for several months is the weekly Samson meeting on Thursday evenings. I know your first reaction is 'not another night for him to be away', but it is worth the extra effort on your part to let him go. The men that have been going can attest to their lives being changed...Jeff is a better man now than he was a year ago. I always reserve the right to ask him to come home, but I try to save it for those extra bad evenings. I also try to plan our day around an early bed time that evening to give myself a break:)
If you have any questions feel free to contact me or Jeff.

Need a laughter break?

My sister shared the following funny clips with me when she was here for Christmas. If you need a little laughter break take a look. I invite any of you to share things here anytime!!! Looking forward to all of our upcoming classes!

Happy New Year. Click below.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=cc8bf302a8554782add4

Can anyone relate to this one? I hope not. :)

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/571/Boys-and-Grills

Too cute.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=9e7c4b40cf5a13cea6ca

Church fun.
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=a7bedeb99312cc5d7f4e

Mandles???
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=54988d966e0e317d5553

Funny and a little painful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EAFj5WTVt4

Being there

If you were not at church yesterday morning you missed an incredible outpouring of love. Two families went forward to ask for prayers for hard medical situations. Both were surrounded by many members of Otter Creek and we said a communal prayer over each family.

A little girl named Palmer and her family have recently moved to Nashville to be closer to Vandy for cancer treatments. I believe she has leukemia--she is 15 and looks like a girl full of life. Pray for her and her family as they deal with all that comes with treatment AND being in a new place. (see Heather and Scott Miller if you would like more info)

Hailey and Jeremy Hiett also need your prayers. Hailey has just been diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and has a long uncertain rode ahead of her. This disease is very individualistic in the fact you can't compare one persons symptoms and complications to another. It affects each one in different (even if sometimes similar) ways. If you don't know her very well Hailey is a very active woman that enjoys doing things for her family and friends. She has two small children, Anna Kate and Jackson, who (as any young ones are) are full of energy and will very likely be confused as to why Mommy can't always do what she used to--or just needs to rest more. Please cover this sweet family in your prayers. The Lord has a plan and we need to be ready to help carry it out even when we may not understand why.

Thankful

I want to say how thankful I am for this class. It is doing so much for me and others. The book is good, but the discussions are even better. Rachel, Cynthia, Becky and Becca: THANK YOU for your contributions to this time together as moms and women of God. All the ideas have been great and I am trying to put some of them into practice. I'm glad we seem to be extending the class b/c it is needed! Not that I want to segregate ourselves from other women (we can learn so much from them too), but we need times like this to reflect, share and learn that we are not alone.

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

Christy

Prayer "Schedule"

So here I am, about to post my first-ever contribution to a blog! (Other than just commenting on someone else's post, of course.) Sadly, it just took me about 20 minutes to figure out HOW to do it! Welcome to 2007, Melissa...

Cynthia asked me to take this precipitous leap into the 21st century and post the prayer "schedule" I mentioned in class tonight. I hate to use the word schedule, so if you have another suggestion, bring it on. Actually I love schedules, but it just doesn't seem to go with prayer.

Anyway, here it is. My friend's was a little different & I tweaked it to fit my needs. It has freed me from compulsive perfectionism in my prayer life & allowed me to really focus on one group of people. I hope it helps somebody the way it has me.

Sunday-praise
Monday-self & immediate family
Tuesday-extended family
Wednesday-church (ministers, programs, teachers, elders, missionaries, members' needs)
Thursday-friends
Friday-others' needs (ie, prayer requests from friends, internet, etc)
Saturday-my community & the world (politics, leaders, issues, lost people everywhere)

Thoughts from tonight

I'm not a big group kinda gal. I'm easily intimidated, embarrassed, and get very nervous when I have to verbally express what I'm thinking and feeling. As a result, I don't share much of what I'm thinking when I'm in class, or any other large group setting. But, I had quite a few thoughts from the chapters we read for class tonight and thought I might share my thoughts via the blog. The chapter on "Co-workers" was the one that really caused me to think. We talked briefly about the importance of having this support system in your life when you are a mother. While I think the author did a great job of recognizing that we need to have encouragement and support from others who are at the same stage in life, I wish she had elaborated more on the fact that we are all different and may gain support in different ways. It is nice to be involved in the lives of other young moms, but I have learned that it is very important to not shy away from setting boundaries for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone, so determine for yourself what kind of support system you need, not what you think seems to work for everyone else. As a self-confessed "people-pleaser" (or, as I prefer to call "approval addict"), I just assumed that what others' wanted and what worked best for them would be the best thing for me and my family. That wasn't the case. See, I didn't know how to set boundaries with people. I tried so hard to please everyone that I made myself into someone I didn't like. So after much frustration, heartache, many tears, and many months later, I have finally figured out what works best for me, my marriage and my children. Thank you, Lord, for your patience!

Priorities. Those are things that I allowed to get very mixed up in my desire to be a good "mommy friend." I cared more about "fitting in" and making sure I was liked and valued than focusing on what I was teaching my children. Shameful to admit, but so true. I was weak, had no self-confidence, and was constantly comparing myself to those around me. I desperately wanted approval from "mommy friends." In one word, I was MISERABLE! I felt trapped in this life I had created for myself. But, thank you, God for making us all different. I am fully aware that God made us all unique. We all have our strengths and we all have our faults. No one personality is "right" or "wrong". And, we need to give each other grace in our differences.

So, why the abundance of personal information to a bunch of women that I don't know that well? Well, let's just say that I now have a passion and desire to help others avoid the trap I fell into. I don't have a lot of years under my belt as a mother, but God has certainly taught me a lot and will continue to teach me how to seek Him more and more as I seek to raise my children to know Him. He is good. He is faithful. And, He can provide all the assurance you need to know you are doing amazing work in the mission field of motherhood!

**Thanks for letting me share. Has this made a lick of sense?! Please share any thoughts you may have.